


Lucky Shot

by firedup



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gabriel Reyes is fond of bad puns, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Other, character injury, it's silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 11:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18755857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firedup/pseuds/firedup
Summary: (Blackwatch Era) Jesse is butthurt. Genji has a laugh. Reyes is too damn old for this shit.





	Lucky Shot

**Author's Note:**

> lil' tribute to Fritz Muliar's Josef Schwejk ;)

The bottle spins, coming to a rest pointing directly at him, and Jesse sighs. "Sure ya not cheatin' here, honey?"

 

"You can't cheat at spinning the bottle... well, _you_  probably could but that's exactly why it's me spinning it and not you. So, come on. Pick your poison." Hana is grinning at him sweetly, like a pink-and-white shark.

 

"Fiiine.." Jesse lets his head loll back against the seat of the couch he's slouching against, together with Genji. Hana and Lúcio are seated across from them, cross-legged on the floor, Mei watching the slaughter from one of the arm chairs. "Truth, then."

 

The pilot and the DJ exchange matching grins, which only hardens Jesse's suspicion that this is all part of an evil plot hatched between the two, to get as much blackmail material on him as they possibly can. Genji may or may not be in on it, too. Knowing him, it's probably the former.

 

"Alright... what's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you on a mission?" Lúcio's voice is as smooth as the steel of a bear trap, eyes alight as he leans forward, fixing Jesse in place with his gaze. Genji guffaws loudly. "That's a whole world of choice opening up before you there, isn't it?" He smoothly ducks away from Jesse's languid punch and continues right on, "What's it going to be, Venice? Or Chile? Or....", laughing, he deflects the next, not-quite-as-languid punch and grins in the face of Jesse's put-out scowl.

 

".... alright, yeah, since ya _had_  to mention it, that'd probably be Chile....", he admits with a deep sigh. On cue, the sharks all prick up (even Mei in her chair), eyes glittering predatorily. "Spill.", Lúcio demands.

 

There's no getting out of this. Jesse leans back, toying with his hat as the details all come back to him. "That was maybe half a year before the fall, we been cracking down on a drug trafficking ring in northern Chile...."

 

.

 

Gabriel Reyes is jogging through the sand with his team hot on his heels, all as eager as he is to get back to the transport and write an end to this mission. A middle-sized mess during which he lost contact with Team 2 under the lead of McCree, but ultimately succesful. In the end, that's all that counts.

 

That doesn't mean he isn't apprehensive about what he'll find when they get back to the dropship. If Jesse and his team will be there, and in what state; if they'll have to go back for them, if...

 

To his relief, when he rounds the last rock formation and gets line of sight on the carrier, the hatch is down and a handful of dark-clad figures stand or sit in the shade its wings provide. As they get closer, a call goes up and one of the members of Jesse's team steps up to meet them, saluting smartly. There's a weird kind of tension about her, her lips twitching oddly.

 

Reyes salutes back. "Carreras. Report?"

 

"We neutralized all of the hostiles and secured their ware, but not before running into some resistance. A number of our soldiers sustained light injuries. Agent McCree himself is...", her face does that weird thing again, "He... got shot... through both cheeks."

 

An awful vision of Jesse, lying on a bloody cot with his face torn open, manifests in front of Reyes' inner eye and he speeds up his pace, only for Carreras to put a hand on his arm and hold him back. "Don't worry, Commander. His... face... remains undamaged....".

 

A beat passes. Reyes stares at her. Suddenly, the way she keeps biting her lip makes a lot more sense, in a uniquely Jesse McCree kind of way.

 

Gabriel Reyes puts his face in his hands and expels the longest sigh he ever did expel in all his years as Commander of Blackwatch. Carreras pats him on the shoulder.

 

"I'm going to have a word with him. Dismissed." As he starts striding toward the carrier's hatch, he notices that instead of darting away like a couple of startled rabbits, his team remains rooted in place, all eyes on his back. No doubt waiting for the opportunity to sneak after him and get a look.

 

"I said, dis _missed! Scat!_ ", he barks at them. The effect is instantaneous. Within a few seconds, he is alone.

 

He climbs up the ramp. Inside he finds Jesse lying bellydown on a cot with a biotic emitter tucked into his side on top of the blanket that mercifully spares the world the sight of his lower half. He's wearing a disgruntled scowl and shoving at Shimada's shoulder with a hand- the cyborg is curled up with his head on the cot next to Jesse and wheezing in a way that's pretty damn alarming. For a moment, Reyes is convinced that he's either having a fit or that his respiratory system is malfunctioning, but then he takes a look at those shaking shoulders and revises his conclusion.

 

Figures.

 

Then Jesse looks up and spots him, an entire feature film's worth of emotions passing over his face before he drags up his trademark lopsided grin. "Hey, Boss. Sorry, can't get up and salute right at the mo'... 'm a bit busted up."

 

"Yes, I heard that you got your... ass handed to you out there.", Reyes deadpans. Jesse drops his head onto his folded arms and groans. "'s not my fault! Genji let that guy slip past him!", he whines, like the teenager he used to be. Shimada finally looks up at that. "That's not true! You simply weren't alert enough! And I did kill him for you."

 

"Yeah, too fuckin' late! Bet ya waited those extra seconds on purpose!", Jesse growls at him, and the cyborg bristles. Reyes pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Shut up, the two of you!"

 

They subside, glaring at each other.

 

"Jesse, you will stop acting butthurt about this this minute-"- the cowboy faceplants into the cot, groaning, "-and clench up and take it like a man until we get back, at which point I'm going to sit you down and talk about this, and don't you dare give me any cheek or I'm going to rip your ass open, you got it?"

 

Shimada is hiccuping at this point, tears of laughter streaming down his cheeks and disappearing beneath his mask. Jesse has his face pressed into the cot with his hands over his ears, whimpering. "Boss, please... stop, I can't..."

 

Reyes smirks and steps up beside him to put a hand on his shoulder. "Ah, Jessito, don't be sore... I'm going to go gentle on you."

 

** "Boss!" **

 

**. **

 

"...  yeah, so, that was a fun ride back, as ya can imagine.", Jesse concludes his tale, talking to the ceiling so that he doesn't have to watch his teammates' convulsions. Hana's on the floor, howling with laughter. Lúcio is shaking his head so hard his dreadlocks are whipping back and forth, Genji's grinning  like his face is about to split and even Mei has been surreptitiously wiping at her eyes. 

 

"Ah, so that's where those scars come from. I was wondering.", a deep, pleasant and familiar voice speaks up from behind. Jesse shrinks into himself. "Shit darlin', ya heard all that?"

 

"Of course." Hanzo sounds like the cat in cream. " But don't worry, I'm not going to be an ass about it..."

 

Jesse pulls his hat down over his face,  curling into himself . "Kill me...."


End file.
